08/21/11
Ho ho ho! So, I finally gave into temptation and I made a tumblr. :c Who would have thought the day would have arrived?! I mean, sure, I used it once or twice to rant about people and hoped deep inside they’d see it.. BUT! Let’s try this out for real. c:

So, I might go see One Day with my mom today. >:D I’m excited.  The main actor is hot (and that’s usually what matters, right? ;) ) and I’ve always liked Anne Hathaway’s works. (Did I spell her last name right..? I’m too lazy to check. :c ..)

Oh! Guess what song I’m listening too?! Stereo Hearts! Ooh ooh oh oh ohh oh! So sing along to my stereo! c: I guess the one thing I really like about that song is that.. We all have SOME song inside of us (that’s corny, huh.. Oh well! :D).  And like most songs, some people enjoy listening to it and keep it on repeat, while other songs, we don’t particularly like, thus we don’t listen to.  It’s all about preferences and what keeps us happy. :)  I really am random in this blog, hopefully the ones down the road make sense.. Who knows. :D This is pretty much stream of consciousness at work. (Oh! Lit term. c:) Anyways..

Time to get the dreary part out of my system!

Family isn’t really all it’s cut out to be, is it?  I feel like I’m being torn in two directions all the time.  Friends don’t last forever.. Okay, I understand that.. Family sticks with you ‘til the bitter end.. Yeah, okay, I understand that too.. But.. what happens when your family act like your friends and your friends act like family?  I feel like I’ve been alone my entire life, trying to meet someone, anyone who’ll just tell me it’ll all be okay, that I’m not as terrible as they make me seem, that I’m not those things and that I’m so much better.  I guess it’s hard though since at some point, I always push people away, and then when they are finally gone, I regret it, but it’s too late.  I mean, I love my family, I do.. I always have to smile through their insults, remain silent when I’m being scolded, listen while they praise everyone else and overlook me like I’m trash.  Am I really THAT fat?  Am.. I really that elephant in the room that everyone overlooks? /:  Jeez! Haha, and I guess that’s what I love the most about them. c:  They’re sweet, they’re sincere, they’re genuine… They’re people who I wish I could spend the rest of my life with, always. They’re always complimenting me, even if it’s with lies, or it’s out of pity, I always feel warm inside when I hear them.  I mean, sure, they’re awkward because I never know how to exactly respond, but, whenever they tell me I’m this, or I’m that, I always deny it because I don’t see it, but.. That little girl, haha. :3 That little girl is pretty much hugged with each compliment, each concern, and each ounce of love offered. It sounds silly, and pathetic, but, can you blame me? o:  My entire life, I’ve been told I’m fat, I’m ugly, I don’t fit in.. I’m not part of this family, and even to the point where I’m the cause of someone’s death?! Umm, okay.  If I had that kind of power, I doubt I’d waste it on that, haha.  But it’s whatever.  I don’t know why I left them.  Sure, education is important, sure, they might not last forever, sure, we may never speak or see each other again some time in the future.. but.. When I look back on life, I’ll always remember those three idiots who taught me that life isn’t just about following the road, or a routine, that.. in order to follow your dreams, you have to start by leading them in the direction you want to go. (:

<3